12 Most Ridiculous Christmas Songs

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This year, instead of bringing you the most crunk Christmas songs, we have decide to give you the most ridiculous. These tracks range from songs about a gathering of pimps to a murderous cowboy Santa Claus. If you’re sick of hearing “Have Yourself a Merry Christmas” and “Let It Snow” every year, spice it up with some totally insane Christmas jams!

12. Run-DMC | “Christmas In Hollis”

This has been one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs since I was a kid. Something about finding Santa’s wallet sounded like a good time to me.

11. Ludacris | “Ludacrismas”

I feel like Luda could have gone completely HAM with this track if he hadn’t recorded it specifically for the steaming pile of Christmas crap that was Fred Claus. Still, throwing a thumping beat on top of “Here Comes Santa Claus” puts this track on the list of crunk Christmas tunes.

10. No Doubt | “Oi to the World”

This song was originally written by Orange County punkers The Vandals, but the No Doubt version is more up beat, even for a song about a punk and a skinhead agreeing to fight on a rooftop on Christmas Day. (Spoiler: They end up becoming chums and spend Christmas getting drunk together… you know, because it’s Christmas and all).

9. Outkast | “Player’s Ball”

A gathering of pimps on Christmas Day sounds like a fun time to me, no? One of Outkast’s early jams, it showcases their Southern laid-back flows and g-funk style.

8. Nate Dogg & Snoop Dogg | “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto”

Man, I miss Nate Dogg. He could make any song sound like it belonged on the Dolemite soundtrack. This is a take on James Brown’s “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto,” albeit with a much more g-funk vibe, and Snoop’s nonsensical rhyming about Christmas stuff.

7. Dirty Boyz | “All I Want For Christmas Is To Get It Crunk”

The title says everything you need to know about this song.

6. Ying Yang Twins | “Sleigh Ride”

What’s really hilarious about this Ying Yang Twins Christmas banger is that you can tell they legitimately put thought into it. It has a nice, pop hook, and they really only ask Santa for peace on Earth (and rims for the Bentley, of course).

5. The 69 Boyz | “What You Want For Christmas”

This is exactly what you would expect from the group that did the 90s smash-hit “Tootsie Roll.” Seriously, it’s like the exact same beat and everything.

4. Pansy Division | “Homo Christmas”

Openly gay musician Jon Ginoli started Pansy Division in the early 90s because he was frustrated with a lack of openly gay indie artists. “Homo Christmas” is what I imagine Ginoli wrote to poke fun at people that didn’t understand homosexuality, especially with lines like “Licking nipples/Licking nuts/Putting candy canes/Up each other’s butts.”

3. The Killers | “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”

The idea of Santa reaping vengeance upon the wicked of the world is bad ass, if you ask me. If you really think about the lyrics, I’m pretty sure the kid in this song killed a bunch of other kids that would pick on him. I don’t know what darkness Brandon Flowers was getting into, but I’m just going to focus on the Santa being a gun-slinging hard ass.

2. Ying Yang Twins | “Deck Da Club”

A Christmas song for the strip club, you say? By the Ying Yang Twins? How could this NOT be utterly ridiculous? Take “Deck The Halls,” add banging bass, the notorious Ying Yang Twins “Ahhhh!” strung throughout, and terrible lines like “Deck the club with piles of money,” and you’ve got a Ying Yang Twins Christmas classic!

1. Eazy-E | “Merry Muthaphukkin Christmas”

A Dolemite introduction, followed by about 6 minutes of Eazy-E utterly destroying every Christmas carol with a medley about guns, hoes, money, cars, cop-killin’, and all other aspects of the gangsta lifestyle. Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas, everyone!

BC’s Top 50 Fav Hip-Hop Songs of All Time (#10-1)

Hip-Hop-Albums

Well, we’ve reach the pinnacle… the BEST OF THE BEST… the Rocky of Hip Hop lists, if you will. Or Rambo. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle All The Way. Or whatever.

I have listened to each of these songs hundreds, if not thousands, of times. They are in heavy rotation every time I DJ, as well as in my car and my iTunes… and in my heart. (Insert sad fog-horn here)

Now, before I ramble too much, let’s finish this bad boy.

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Capital Cities feat. Andre 3000 | “Farrah Fawcett Hair”

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I’m calling it right now. “Farrah Fawcett Hair” is going to be one of the best jams of the summer. Whimsical, dancey pop narrated by NPR’s Frank Tavares and a soulful verse from Outkast’s Andre 3000. The chorus will be stuck in your head for day. DAYS, I tell you!

You’ll know it when you see it/You’ll know it when it’s there/Like Michael Jackson’s Thriller/Or Farrah Fawcett Hair/It’s good shit!” (I didn’t say it was poetry, did I?)

If you haven’t heard this track yet, you better get on it. It’s already jumped to #1 on the Hype Machine list.

For Fans of: Passion Pit, Empire of the Sun, (old) MGMT, Friendly Fires.

You can also pick up their new album, In A Tidal Wave Of Mystery, at iTunes now!

[Mashup Monday] D.VELOPED – Totally Recalled (Flosstradamus Mashup)

After some copyright issues with their original version of “Total Recall,” Flosstradamus gets a mashup remix by North Carolina (RAISE UP!) producer D.VELOPED.

There’s samples of Beastie Boys, Lil’ Jon, Outkast, The Gorillaz, and Quad City DJ’s. Hollaaaaa

Gorillaz feat. Andre 3000 & James Murphy | “DoYaThing” (Converse 3 Artists, 1 Song)

Converse has been doing the “3 Artists, 1 Song” thing for a few years now (last year’s “I’m A Goner” mixed Andrew W.K., Matt & Kim, and Soulja Boy, and 2010’s “All Summer” included Kid Cudi, Best Coast, and Vampire Weekend). It seems that each addition to the series gets a little more excelctic and bizarre, but this year’s really gets it right.

The blend of the Gorillaz typical strange beeps n beats with LCD Soundsystem brain-trust James Murphy and Outkast’s Andre 3000 spits out a head-bobbing ball of funk. The video is typical Gorillaz flair of CGI, 2D cartoon, and live-action elements, and really has nothing to do with the song other than “DoYaThing” is playing in the background.

Oh, and did I mention there is a FRIGGIN’ BOWL OF EARS at the 3:05 mark?! You may want to strap yourself in for this one.

[Throwback Thursday] Outkast | “ATLiens”

We’re reaching pretty far back into the Outkast catalog with this one, but ATLiens (the album) was Outkast’s first true taste of chart-topping success. “ATLiens” (the song) is still considered one of their best tracks (and one of my personal favorites). It came out when Outkast was still putting out laid-back southern jams with slick flows.

Now, if only the rumors of an upcoming Outkast reunion (and album) ring true, we’ll all be sayin’ “Oh-yay-yerr”