12 Most Ridiculous Christmas Songs


This year, instead of bringing you the most crunk Christmas songs, we have decide to give you the most ridiculous. These tracks range from songs about a gathering of pimps to a murderous cowboy Santa Claus. If you’re sick of hearing “Have Yourself a Merry Christmas” and “Let It Snow” every year, spice it up with some totally insane Christmas jams!

12. Run-DMC | “Christmas In Hollis”

This has been one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs since I was a kid. Something about finding Santa’s wallet sounded like a good time to me.

11. Ludacris | “Ludacrismas”

I feel like Luda could have gone completely HAM with this track if he hadn’t recorded it specifically for the steaming pile of Christmas crap that was Fred Claus. Still, throwing a thumping beat on top of “Here Comes Santa Claus” puts this track on the list of crunk Christmas tunes.

10. No Doubt | “Oi to the World”

This song was originally written by Orange County punkers The Vandals, but the No Doubt version is more up beat, even for a song about a punk and a skinhead agreeing to fight on a rooftop on Christmas Day. (Spoiler: They end up becoming chums and spend Christmas getting drunk together… you know, because it’s Christmas and all).

9. Outkast | “Player’s Ball”

A gathering of pimps on Christmas Day sounds like a fun time to me, no? One of Outkast’s early jams, it showcases their Southern laid-back flows and g-funk style.

8. Nate Dogg & Snoop Dogg | “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto”

Man, I miss Nate Dogg. He could make any song sound like it belonged on the Dolemite soundtrack. This is a take on James Brown’s “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto,” albeit with a much more g-funk vibe, and Snoop’s nonsensical rhyming about Christmas stuff.

7. Dirty Boyz | “All I Want For Christmas Is To Get It Crunk”

The title says everything you need to know about this song.

6. Ying Yang Twins | “Sleigh Ride”

What’s really hilarious about this Ying Yang Twins Christmas banger is that you can tell they legitimately put thought into it. It has a nice, pop hook, and they really only ask Santa for peace on Earth (and rims for the Bentley, of course).

5. The 69 Boyz | “What You Want For Christmas”

This is exactly what you would expect from the group that did the 90s smash-hit “Tootsie Roll.” Seriously, it’s like the exact same beat and everything.

4. Pansy Division | “Homo Christmas”

Openly gay musician Jon Ginoli started Pansy Division in the early 90s because he was frustrated with a lack of openly gay indie artists. “Homo Christmas” is what I imagine Ginoli wrote to poke fun at people that didn’t understand homosexuality, especially with lines like “Licking nipples/Licking nuts/Putting candy canes/Up each other’s butts.”

3. The Killers | “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”

The idea of Santa reaping vengeance upon the wicked of the world is bad ass, if you ask me. If you really think about the lyrics, I’m pretty sure the kid in this song killed a bunch of other kids that would pick on him. I don’t know what darkness Brandon Flowers was getting into, but I’m just going to focus on the Santa being a gun-slinging hard ass.

2. Ying Yang Twins | “Deck Da Club”

A Christmas song for the strip club, you say? By the Ying Yang Twins? How could this NOT be utterly ridiculous? Take “Deck The Halls,” add banging bass, the notorious Ying Yang Twins “Ahhhh!” strung throughout, and terrible lines like “Deck the club with piles of money,” and you’ve got a Ying Yang Twins Christmas classic!

1. Eazy-E | “Merry Muthaphukkin Christmas”

A Dolemite introduction, followed by about 6 minutes of Eazy-E utterly destroying every Christmas carol with a medley about guns, hoes, money, cars, cop-killin’, and all other aspects of the gangsta lifestyle. Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas, everyone!


Quick Look: Fun Fun Fun Fest Day 1 feat. Bun B, Superchunk, Run-DMC

Here’s a quick look at some videos we took at FFF Fest Day 1!


Bun B


BC’s Top-5 Most Anticipated Sets @ Fun Fun Fun Fest 2012!


For this year’s list, we decided to only choose artists we have NEVER seen before. There were a couple that didn’t make the list (A$AP Rocky, Superchunk, Lagwagon, Doug Benson) but I will definitely be seeing live, any way. There just wasn’t enough room because this year’s line-up is fantastic (as is tradition for FFFF).

5) X

Punk rock got me through my formative high school years of being a pissed-off little brat. Bands like Black Flag, The Germs, Dead Kennedys, and, of course, X, were on that list of “Legendary Punk bands I will never see live.” After this weekend, I will at least be able to cross one of these bands off my list (I’m still waiting on that DK reunion, Jello Biafra).

4) Bun B

I’m ashamed to say that I have never seen Bun B perform live. As an avid fan of UGK (and virtually anything from the Land of the Trill), I’ll make sure to hold up my cup during Bun’s dirty-south set.

3) David Cross

The question is: Why WOULDN’T you want to see half of Mr. Show and Tobias Fünke do stand-up?

2) De La Soul

This is another artist I’m sad to say I have yet to see live. It seems like De La Soul and I have this missed connection every time they come through Austin. I won’t let it happen again. Come Hell or high water, I will be at this set!

1) Run DMC

I’m sorry, but if Run DMC ISN’T on your “Must-See” list, you probably shouldn’t bother going to Fun Fun Fun Fest. Even without the late Jam Master J behind the turntables, this is going to be one of the most legendary sets grace Auditorium Shores.


That’s right! Run-D.M.C. will perform at the 7th annual Fun Fun Fun Fest November 2-4th in Austin, TX! This will be the first time since their break up back in 2002. Surviving members Joseph “Run” Simmons and Darryl “D.M.C.” McDaniels will headline the main stage.

You know who else is performing? I mean, haven’t you been following the FFF leaks!? We’ve got Atlas Sound, Baroness, Black Moth Super Rainbow, Starfucker, Rakim, Lagwagon, The Head and The Heart, Danny Brown, David Cross, Bob Mould, Tomahawk and Against Me!. The full lineup will be announced on Thursday, July 12, includes over 160 artists at the festival grounds, and many more to be released for the FFF Nites after-party series.


“All I Want For Christmas Is To Get Crunk” Mixtape!

Sick and tired of lame ass Christmas music? Want something to get your tacky Christmas sweater party bumpin and grindin? Well we’ve got the perfect Christmas party playlist with artists like Julian Casablancas, Run DMC, Ludacris, and Ying Yang Twins. Have a baller Christmas and a crunk New Year!

Listen here!

(Download as .zip)


Julian Casablancas | “I Wish It Was Christmas Today”

No Doubt | “Oi To The World”

Kurtis Blow | “Christmas Rappin”

The 69 Boyz | “What You Want For Christmas”

Jackson 5 | “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”

Ludacris | “Ludacrismas”

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings | “Ain’t No Chimneys”

Dirty Boyz | “All I Want For Christmas Is To Get It Crunk”

Nate Dogg & Snoop Dogg | “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto”

Ying Yang Twins | “Deck Da Club”

Run DMC | “Christmas In Hollis”